The question circles within me
Am I worthy?
The voice I hear
sounds an emphatic NO,
telling me I do not deserve
a life of abundance.
Yet, the goodness I seek,
like friends to keep me company,
sometimes seem within reach.
beauty and blessings,
creativity and connection,
health and happiness,
intuition and inner peace,
light, laughter and love…
How far away are they?
Another voice emanates
from deep within,
the shape of my heart.
She’s whispered all these years.
Now, she finally calls aloud to me:
Her tender and kind words
speak with compassion and love.
‘These friends you seek are always here for you.’
‘There are no special circumstances that need to exist.’
‘There is nothing specific you need to do.’
‘Simply open and welcome and believe
– it is all there for you.’
My attention has been drawn to that part of us who doubts, who questions our value, who believes we are not fully worthy of our dreams. As I’ve seen it in friends who confide in and open up to me, I’ve tuned into how it is alive in me. This poem was inspired by the intimate conversations that help to move away from ego-driven to heart-supported thoughts and beliefs. Feed the loving and kinds thoughts within.
* I recently took this photo of a geranium that I am overwintering in a pot under a dining room window. I love how it has no question about its worthiness to bloom in the midst of the cold winter months. May it remind you as it does me of our worthiness to move toward the light.
I do not know what gorgeous thing
the bluebird keeps saying,
his voice easing out of his throat,
beak, body into the pink air
of the early morning. I like it
whatever it is. Sometimes
it seems the only thing in the world
that is without dark thoughts.
Sometimes it seems the only thing
in the world that is without
questions that can’t and probably
never will be answered, the
only thing that is entirely content
with the pink, then clear white
morning and, gratefully, says so.
I simply love Mary Oliver. She has a gentle grace filled with love of nature and life. I love when I find a poem of hers that I have never read. This one invites curiosity and a positive, light possibility in being.
* I took this photo in San Agustinillo, Mexico in the early morning sunrise light.
it is hard to hear.
In silent moments
I feel its breath
Its voice is clear:
Be who you are
This poem is about what happens when I make time to just be, to just sit still with myself, to just let whatever comes up be what’s needed.
These quiet times with myself are not always magical. In fact, they can be downright difficult. I’m sometimes challenged by my thoughts running around like a kid on a sugar high, and just can’t shut them off. I’m sometimes overwhelmed with all that my life seems to demand of me. I’m sometimes gripped by fear of something, be it failure or success, knowing or not knowing, having or not having.
By coming back to the quiet space, time and time again, I’m sometimes gifted with the truth. A partial reinforcement effect that invites me to return with some consistency. Sometimes it speaks loudly and unquestioningly – but mostly it whispers. Mostly it entices me to listen more deeply. I’m invited to not only hear the words in my head but also to feel my experience.
As a runner, I know what it feels like to challenge my body, but to listen to it share secrets about what’s happening when I’m sitting quietly, that’s a skill I’m still building. Yoga helps. Guided mindfulness practices help.
This is the title poem of the first chapter of And Then Opens Possibility. The chapter is a collection of 10 poems about the way possibility opens when we are vulnerable enough to be seen and courageous enough to live in integrity. I first posted a version of it on my Mostly My Heart Sings blog, which you’ll find here.
* I took the photograph at the beach in Fenore, County Clare, Ireland in 2016.