in that brief still moment

in that brief, still moment

i lost my job 
no, I didn’t lose it
i was holding onto it for dear life 
and it was taken away from me
like a favorite toy from a child 
who was playing with it for too long
20 dedicated years…some 6000+ days

well, yes, I guess, I lost my job
because I feel the hurt of work
going on without me,
i have an empty space inside of me
where the people I played with used to rest
i miss the sense of purpose
that came from being of service there

but, in a brief, still moment
sitting in silence and 
the spaciousness that had opened up before me
i saw myself soaring like a bird
riding the thermals high above the beautiful earth
available to live life completely on my terms
to fully move my face in the direction of my dreams
in that brief, still moment
I realized I was free.

questions and answers

Isle of Capri, Italy

There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.”

~Zora Neale Hurston

2020 is definitely a year of asking questions.

At least for me.

I’ve noticed how I tend to ask myself lots of questions. Questions for which I don’t have answers. Or at least I’m not ready to delve deep enough to find the answers.

Perhaps there are also years that rest in silence. Years where answers sit in a place of refuge from the bright light of clarity. Years where answers take sanctuary from the free fall of questions.

go slow and notice

boys fishing at sunrise on Playa de San Agustinillo

I searched this blog for ‘slow’ and the results came back with 10 posts, of which Slowing Down was the top of the list. A cancer diagnosis, an unexpected health crisis, the death of a loved one…those awaken a need to slow down. I remember, though, in my work in the corporate world that I was hungry for an intentionality, a consciousness, a being that was often challenging to find, given people running around on autopilot and an organizational emphasis on speed.

I picked the morning sunrise photo because starting the day with the sun rising invites a slowness, a stillness. When I remember that morning walk on playa de San Agustinillo, in my body I feel the sense of peace and possibility for the day.

More encouraging words about going slow are here:

rich lens of attention
blushed with beginning
the gift of now
What’s waiting